im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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