he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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