Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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