I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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