Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my shit smells like andre
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
