my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
