what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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