she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
