I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
