Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
