Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
