Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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