How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
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Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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