I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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