I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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