I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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