Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
