your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
thus making me awesome and them whores
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
