I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
