She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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