Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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