Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
