is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
