Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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