so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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