I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
