Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize