I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
