i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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