A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
