So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
