We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
