people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
