when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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