I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
