the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
