nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
