okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
