Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
