i just google imaged poop.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
