Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
