it wasn't lemon gatorade
he wants to bone in the snuggie
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
