I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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