I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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