Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
