I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
