Sry I called you an 8
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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