Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
