i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
