I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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