So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
