you guys were way drunker than both of me
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
