i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize