I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Randomize
