Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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