I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
