When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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