guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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