so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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