just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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