Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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