was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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