I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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