only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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