Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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